Romania & What I Brought Home

“I will never leave you, never will I forsake you.” -Hebrews 13:5

I had never fully recognized or experienced the depth, truth, and significance this verse held in my heart until I found myself in Arad, Romania this summer. It truly took being separated from the people I know and the life I lived in my comfort zone for God to get my attention and show me the depths of His love. By this love and the opportunities He placed in my life, I was able to spend nearly 90 days in Romania. Those three months changed my life, my spiritual walk, and my relationship with God forever.

This summer Global Outreach International arranged for me to serve seconded to RCE, Romanian Christian Enterprises, where I worked alongside some of the most passionate teachers and faithful Christians I have ever met. I spent two months working as a teacher’s assistant at an RCE ministry site, Sunshine School.  At Sunshine School I worked with two incredible women in a classroom of five boys, all of which had special needs or disabilities.  I was also fortunate enough to be a part of other RCE ministries by working at “Darius House”. The Darius House is an orphanage that provides care for abandoned children who have substantial needs.

 After arriving home I still, in my mind, continue to see the smiling faces of the children of Darius House and Sunshine School. The work that God is doing through RCE to help abandoned children and Romanian families in need, overwhelms my heart. I feel incredibly blessed to have been able to minister into the lives of the children and families benefiting through these ministry efforts.

When the Romanian school year ended I was able to serve in summer camps as a camp counselor and room leader. The summer camps gave the children an opportunity to leave their towns and villages to spend time with other children from Romania. Summer Camp also gave camp counselors an opportunity to share Jesus through their actions, bible studies, worship, music and sports. It was incredible to see how dramatically the children and their relationships with Lord changed during the course of the week.

On the first day of camp the children were unsure and shy, however by the end of the week they were receptive to the songs, sermons, and games that related to walking with God. On the final night of camp, the children and leaders sat around a huge camp fire, sharing songs, bible verses, and prayers that God had placed on their hearts. The memories of the last night around the campfire, seeing how much the children had grown to be confident and proud of their relationships with God continues to bring me much joy.

The time with the children, the bonds I formed with coworkers, the love I felt from the families that welcomed me into their homes, and the relationships I developed have deeply impacted my life. Considering all these, I gained something far more valuable while serving in Romania this summer, and it continues to remain in my heart.

While in Romania, I had a significant amount of alone time. I lived alone, I toured a lot of the city alone, and I spent every night alone. I discovered that the time in my life and how I used it could be such a powerful tool in my Creator’s hands. God molded the time I had “alone” to show me how ever present He truly is in my life. I can’t count the nights that God kept me awake, speaking healing into my heart, helping me grow in Him, showing me how valuable I am to Him. There was so much that I lacked in myself and in my relationship with God that He was able to instill into me while in Romania. All those sleepless nights came together to form an even stronger Christian and woman that what I left for Romania as.

When I first felt lead to go to Romania, I had such a hard time surrendering to the call. My pride, fears, and insecurities were overwhelming. I couldn’t understand why God would send me- someone who had never seen much of her own country, to another country so far away. Why he would send me- who in the past had walked in disobedience, to the point of spiritual disobedience at times, to another country to share Him and His word. Why would He send me to show His love to people who I had never known Him?

Today I recognize that God sent me to not only share Jesus with Romania and to see lives changed, but that He also sent me to be “changed by Romania.” God allowed my time in Romania with Him, and with the people of Romania, to penetrate my heart. He taught me that He does not call the qualified, but that “He qualifies the called.”  I came home with enormous hope for my future and I now walk ultimately submitted to the One who holds that future.

 Now that I am home, I’ve made it a priority to never forget Romania or what my time there  taught me. I finally understand the sovereignty of my God;  How in control He is, how much He loves and cares for me, and how He has planned a future for me that surpasses my every expectation.  Importantly, I have learned to listen, because I never know where God’s plan for my life may lead!

In closing, I can never begin to express my fullest gratitude for your financial support, words of encouragement, and most importantly your prayers for me as I served in Romania. I could feel your prayers covering me each day. My experiences and memories are invaluably etched on to my heart forever. Thank you and I pray God richly bless you.

 
With loving appreciation,

Madalyn McCombs

Two Months in Romania

Two months in Romania!                                                                                          

My last month in Romania is beginning and my time at RCE’s Sunshine school has come to an end. I said goodbye to all of my students and coworkers July 7th and I already miss the smiling faces of the children I’ve been so fortunate to have spent the past two months with.

Finger painting with my class!

Music time with the Kids

While working at the Sunshine school I was able to learn more about the dynamics of disabilities and what I can do to help progress independence for people who have special needs.  I learned how to sing Romanian children’s songs and how to teach an Autistic child to finger paint. I’ve learned to play hop-scotch, draw every animal imaginable with side-walk chalk, and I’ve learned how important a stable routine can be. Most importantly I’ve learned about love. I held those children and for the first time in my life I could feel how deep God’s love for His children is. Every child’s smile, laugh, and even their disabilities are all so different. As I got to know their personalities, their food preferences, and even the height in which they preferred to swing at, I also became more familiar with how beautifully God designed each of us to be.
Psalm’s 139:14 “Fearfully and wonderfully made” is the phrase that comes to mind when the children looked at me with their smiling eyes.

It’s funny how God works- how he called a woman that lacked compassion, has zero patience and little sensitivity to a field that requires the maximum amount of those qualities. Every day I’ve spent in the presence of my clients at home and the children I’ve met here in Romania, I could feel those qualities grow in me. And now as I have finished my last week at RCE, I feel as though these precious children taught me more than I could ever have instilled into them.

God did not send me to change Romania, He sent me here to be changed by Romania. When I go home in 29 days, “changed” won’t cover the amount of impact my heart and soul feels.

18th Century Cathedral

Castle Ruins

My last week working at RCE was extra special as almost 70 Americans flew into Romania to celebrate the 20^th Anniversary of RCE and all the miracles God has used this amazing organization to make happen.  Each day of my last week was filled making incredible memories with the other Americans. We were able to meet a family of 15 that with RCE’s help, has just finished building a home to fit their whole family in and a business to support themselves with. We hiked up an intense mile incline to the ruins of a 13-century castle, toured an 18-century cathedral, and celebrated the 4^th of July with one another and our Romanian friends. At the end of the week a banquet hall was filled with 900 people celebrating the love, miracles, and mercies of the incredible work that RCE has done over the past 20 years.

20th Anniversery Dinner

I am so proud that I was able to work with RCE these past two months. The more I learn about the organization, it’s history, it’s love for all of God’s children, and it’s passion for assisting those in need, the more confident I am in God’s calling on my life and the work I will be able to do through Him for His glory. I am excited to bring these passions, experiences, and inspirations home with me- not to look back at fondly, but to implement into my daily life.

Now that the other Americans have left and school is over, I will spend my last month here in Romania in summer camps as a camp counselor. I will get to meet more children and spend some more time in this beautiful culture before returning home.

Center-city by day

Center-city by night

I spent this weekend preparing to leave for the village that camp will be held at. Part of this preparation included the relaxation of visiting a sunflower field and watching the nightly music and light show at the center-city fountains.
It’s these small beauties that I will miss when I return home.

I also spent a large amount of time catching up on my devotions and bible studies.  Something I have been struggling with in knowing that my time is coming to an end is the “what-ifs”. What if I didn’t fulfill the whole purpose for God sending me here? What if I forgot to teach someone something? What if I didn’t leave the best impression? And what will I do with all of my new overwhelming convictions, passions, and beliefs once I return home?!

While reading my daily devotion this morning, I came across Matthew 6:33-34.

“Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it’s own.”

When I reread that scripture, I was reminded how I should live my life without worry or concern. If I am living a life full of God-reality, God-initiative, and God-provisions, then I don’t have to worry about missing out. All of my everyday human concerns will be met, and God will continue to lead me through the next step without me planning it for Him.

Tomorrow begins three weeks’ worth of camp and a week of preparation to come home. I ask that you pray with me that I will continue to focus more on the opportunities my time left in Romania will give me, and less worrying about what I will do with them once I am home. Though my time at the Sunshine school is over, my purpose for being here is not and I will need your prayers and encouragement to remind me that every day in Romania is a blessing and can be used for God’s glory.

Thank you for your constant support and love, I can’t wait to share my experiences with your families and churches once I am home.

Love,Madalyn Payge <3

One Month in Romania

The train station in Arad.

One month in Arad, Romania!

I cannot believe that I have been living in Romania for a month already! Time that I thought would crawl is quickly passing me by. With 31 days behind me, I have already experienced once-in-a-lifetime opportunities that make me anticipate what the next 60 days might bring. Now that I have learned some of the language, met many people, and have settled into this whole new world, I am able to tell you some of what I have been doing!

Me, Alina, and Lola =)

I am working at the Sunshine School for children who have
disabilities as a volunteer teacher’s assistant. Among my many colleagues, I work in a classroom with two incredible ladies that are teaching me so much! Alina is the teacher of the classroom and is expecting her first baby girl in July. She is incredibly sweet and patient. The way that she loves and believes in each of the children is absolutely inspiring. Her assistant is Lola, my kindred spirit. Lola is tough, full of funny antidotes, and provides my daily humor in her on-going commentary. I couldn’t ask for better women to work with.

The Sunshine School's playground.

      I work in the classroom Monday-Friday, 8-2, but on Mondays and Fridays I am fortunate enough to be able to stay after school for an extra five hours and work with the psychologist, speech therapist, and behavior specialists. So far I have been able to observe all of the sessions with the children, take notes, ask questions, and work with the children during their sessions. I am also starting to work with the psychologist and behavior specialist to form lesson plans for the children's therapy sessions. They are teaching me age and disability appropriate methods, learning games, and different forms of therapies to use.

My gator and pisica (cat).
Requested drawings while
playing with sidewalk
chalk with the cottage-house kids. 

 I have always known that the word "disability" is a very broad umbrella, mentally and physically. But until I started working with the doctors here and began making these session plans with goal lists for the children, I never realized how many different problems and difficulties came along with each individual's disability or disorder. I am so happy to be here and to be able to learn so much.

RCE is celebrating 20 years
of service this year!

So far, my most memorable experience has been visiting poor families that RCE helps support. These families are considered “gypsies”. RCE (Romanian Christian Enterprise) is the organization that funds the Sunshine School and children’s cottages where children who have special needs have been abandoned and now live. RCE does something incredible for these “poor families”. Instead of freely providing the families with the things they needs, RCE encourages each family to help meet the organization half-way. This means that if the family needs food, RCE provides a cow for milk, or seeds for a garden. In return, the family must do their part in caring for the cow and tending to the garden. Not only does this method decrease the families dependency on other people (and the government), but it also teaches them responsibility, independence, and how to work for what they need.

If your mind pictured a TLC episode of gypsies living large, or the beautiful, hunchback-loving Esmeralda when I mentioned “gypsy” families, your mental images couldn’t be more wrong. These families live outside of the clean, safe city, in a remote and dusty village. The houses resembled shacks more than homes and I could smell the village before I had actually seen it. We visited four families that day, but two stuck out in my mind in complete opposite and surprising ways.

The first family had seven people living in a three room house. Two adults with five children, one of the boys is mentally disabled and another is blind.  When I say that there were three rooms in the house, I do not mean three bedrooms, I mean literally three rooms. One of the rooms served as the kitchen, eating area and where they had a couch. The other two rooms were packed with beds for the seven people to sleep.  Please note that I did not mention a bathroom. After touring the home, we walked outside with all the barefoot children following. I was happy to see that this family had taken the assistance from RCE and were working hard to improve their lives and to give their children a better life. This family had grown a prosperous garden that gave them food to eat and sell, they had acquired a hog for meat, and a cow that produced milk for drinking and selling.

 Seeing that cow made me feel closer to home than anything else, ya’ll!!   =)

Though the first family’s living environment was shocking, it had not come close to preparing me for the introduction of the second family.

In an area where people were all outside tending to their gardens and feeding their livestock, our RCE van pulled up to a gated shack. I have honestly seen tool sheds bigger than what this family of five called home. I might sound heartless, but it didn’t take me long to realize that this family’s predicament was the outcome of their own laziness and government-dependency. Many times RCE had given them seeds to plant, but overgrown weeds and excuses were in the place that the garden should be. They had been offered livestock, but didn’t want to take care of an animal despite the milk and meat it could give their three young children. The children, by the way, are just additional examples of their parent’s government-dependency. The mother is illiterate and the father refuses to work. To compensate their nonexistent income, they have children for the small, time-limited monthly payment the government gives anyone who has a baby. Every time the money stops coming because a child is too old, these parents decide to have another, despite the fact that they cannot provide for the ones they already have. The couple is young. The mother held the newborn, while the other two children played on the floor of the house. The floor was dirt. No carpet or rugs covered the dirt that the barefoot children played on. Black sand covered their hands and feet, the middle child was not wearing pants. I don’t mean to paint the picture of a toddler in a Pampers commercial running around in a diaper. This baby wasn’t wearing anything but a shirt that was too small and a smile. I left their house that day more mad than I had ever been in my life. It was unfortunate to see two parents that were unwilling to provide for their children, but that happens all the time. The image that will always linger in my mind is of those children that didn’t take a pre-birth survey choosing to be born into that family. They will grow up without an example of what responsibility and hard work looks like. They don’t know that it’s not acceptable for the bed that they share to be placed right beside the kitchen stove, or for their parents to choose buying cigarettes over clothes for them.

 I left their house not only with an immense appreciation for the work that RCE does, but also with a new understanding for what it means to do the work of Christ. Just like the children in that village, I didn’t take a pre-birth survey. I didn’t choose to be born into the lives of people who would love and care for me. I didn’t hand-pick my parents.  I didn’t decide before birth that I would meet an incredible woman who would lead me back to church, I didn’t know I would be so accepted by a loving church family and I didn’t pre-determine that I would be called to work with children who have special needs or even missions. But I did. And because I was chosen to be so fortunate, to be so blessed, I can’t help but also feel like it’s my job to show God’s love through acts of service for the people who also didn’t choose to be born in the back of the line. Getting to know the children here, meeting these poor families, and  watching children climb out of dumpsters with someone else’s leftover food every day on my way to work reminds me that as part of the body of Christ, we are called to love.

 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’’’ Matthew 25:40

God shows us His love through times of happiness, trials, our success, our families, our deepest despairs, through the blood that covered our sins, and the overwhelming grace in His forgiveness. God’s agape (unconditional) love challenges us to love others as He loves us and as we love ourselves (Matthew 22:37-40). The deeper I find myself in this mission God has placed on my heart, the further I find myself committing to that love for “the least of these”. I am so blessed to be born into the life I have, but I can’t imagine going home and forgetting what I have seen here. I find myself wondering what America’s “least of these” look like and how I can help at home.

Please join me as I pray that my heart will be continuously receptive to the opportunities God could give me to help love others as I love myself, whether it be in continuing to care for people with disabilities, missions, or reaching out to those that weren’t born into the blessings that I had been taking for granted.

Thank you for your prayers, emails, love, and encouraging words. They help more than you know. The support of those that love me, gives me the support I need to love others the way that God has called us to.

Love from Romania,
Madalyn Payge <3

One Week in Romania

Plane view of my new home for 90 days!

Buna dimineata!

This is how I am greeted each morning by Romanians.
I love it here! The people, the culture, and the city are very new, but very exciting.
I’ve been in Romania for a week now. My flights in were interesting to say the least, but after fifteen hours of flying and four hours of layovers, I finally arrived in Romania. There I was greeted by a smiling man named Ovi Martin, an RCE (Romanian Christian Enterprise) director. He took me to the RCE center where I met his wife Doina and their staff members who work in the center teaching and taking care of the children. That night I met his three daughters, one of them is even my age. The Martins are a welcoming and warm family. They are used to having and looking after missionaries so I felt very accepted and taken care of.

My second day here I got to spend the day at the RCE center where I will be working all summer. I toured the classrooms and met the staff. For the past week I have been working in a classroom with five boys who are between four and seven years old. I LOVE working in this classroom, it has been beyond rewarding. Two of the younger boys have Downs Syndrome, one is Autistic, and the other has severe Muscular Dystrophy. They are all loving, playful, and respond well to the teaching methods used by their two teachers.

Watching the teaching methods of the staff here has been incredible. Everyone is so warm towards the children. They are encouraging and always positive. Something I admire very much is that even when it is not expected that some children may never speak and some never walk, the teachers and staff do not stop believing that it is a possibility. Things that should be impossible for these children are encouraged by the teachers and they act as though in their hearts they believe it is possible. I think that is so important, especially when working with people who have special needs and disabilities. A doctor can diagnose anyone with anything, but only God can give talents, gifts, and recovery to someone.

“I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.” -Philippians 4:13
When we let Him in, God can give us the strength we need to overcome the obstacles in our life, or the strength we need to accept the circumstances we cannot change.





Apartment View



My apartment is adorable, except for all the stairs I have to take to get to it! People keep telling me that it is on the fourth floor, but yall, I am telling you that there is EIGHT flights of stairs to that “fourth floor”. It’s not entirely a bad thing though; climbing each day is helping me to work off the fresh Romanian bread that they serve with EVERY meal.  My roommate does not speak English. For my first week here she was on vacation, so I was alone in the house, but I met her this week when she came home. At first I was very disappointed that I wouldn’t have someone to talk to like I expected. But then I decided to look at it as an opportunity to learn Romanian and to teach her English. There is always a silver lining, people!

Other than the time change, there are still many things that I struggle with adjusting to. Even at home, the summer has more daylight hours, but here it doesn’t get dark until nearly ten at night! The food is also very different. I have found some of the most delicious meals I have ever experienced here, but there are also other foods that seem to be more of a Romanian acquired taste. They serve soup and bread with every meal. At home, soup IS the meal. It’s a good thing I walk everywhere to burn it all off! Maybe I will bring home some tasty recipes… that doesn’t involve the chicken liver I ate yesterday, or the cold noodles with sugar and poppy seeds I ate today. Some things I just am not a fan of.

Church here is interesting. I recognize the sermons that they preach from and the hymns that they sing. But sitting in a three hour service where I don’t understand a single word is difficult. I woke up Sunday SO ready for worship and was discouraged afterwards when I realized I had let three hours of sitting in God’s house go to waste because I didn’t understand the language. I felt convicted. Next Sunday I will remember that God hears every language. And worship is accepted by Him from every tongue. I should view that time as an opportunity to independently read and study the section being preached from and should sing the hymns in English if I know it. God gives me his love no matter what country I’m in, I should be doing the same for Him in His house.

I am working hard to break this language barrier by learning as many words and phrases as possible. Every time a conversation is being carried on that I feel I am a part of, I ask what is being said and how to respond in Romanian. My goal has been to learn ten words a day, but that has proved to be more easily said than done. So far I know about thirty words and phrases. Most of them are basic words and commands to use with the children that they are used to hearing. I know the kids can’t always understand what I am trying to convey to them, so I thank God that tickling, hugs, and smiles are universal.

My biggest fear being here is experiencing genuine loneliness for the first time. The eight hour time difference between me and the people closest to me is very hard. When I finally get to work where there is internet, it is 12 or 1 am at home and everyone is asleep. When I leave work in the afternoons, everyone is not quite waking up. And when I go to sleep at night, everyone is in the middle of their day and on lunch breaks. I am so used to having 24/7 constant and instant communication. With Facebook, texting, seeing colleagues at work, and family/ friends living so close to me, I am accustomed to picking up a phone or posting a status at any time I want to see or talk to someone. That isn’t the case here. I can’t call frequently and I don’t have internet at home yet to skype with. No texting. And facebook is limited because I am so busy. The socially-needy person in me wants to feel alone and abandoned. But to be honest, I don’t. I definitely miss my close friends and family and I do experience home-sickness at night. But coming here alone was a good decision. I feel empowered knowing that I don’t NEED the constant communication that I WANT to have. God is constantly affirming his love for me.
“I will never leave you, never will I forsake you.” -Hebrews 13:5
Talk about a promise!! I am so comforted by this verse every day and I am reminded that God is my portion and that I don’t need to want for other things and people.

Being in Romania is not just giving me an opportunity to learn from the teachers and children, but to also become solely dependent on God. I am quickly learning that to survive these 90 days, I have to trust that God will provide the people to teach me, that He will supply the food I will try, that He will send me those I need to seek answers from, and that HE will use this time for His glory and will turn my life here into a living example of His love and faithfulness.

People keep asking me “aren’t you so afraid to come here all alone?” I wasn’t particuariluy scared until they kept asking! Then I started wondering “do I have a reason to be nervous? Did I make an unwise decision coming here alone so young?” God is quick to reassure me. Right after the devil put those thoughts in my head, I read this:
The phrase “do not be afraid” is written in the bible 365 times. That is a daily reminder to live every day fearless.
 And I only need 90 of those =)

Until next time,
Chow from Romania!

-Madalyn Payge <3



Chained to Christ

I recently went to a women’s Christian conference. This was my third year going and I am always impressed with the worship, speakers, and the feeling I leave with. The entire weekend is focused on empowering women and encouraging them to step-up and out in their faith and walk with God. I never leave the conference feeling anything less than filled and bubbling over with motivation to improve my relationship with Christ. This year things were so much different for me. Instead of leaving with a spiritual high that would fade and a devotion book that I would stop writing in two weeks after, I walked out the doors of that conference center broken, convicted, and ready to make a radical change in my life and spiritual relationship.

At the conference, I felt as though every speaker and song was directed right at me. It wasn’t the music. Because it isn’t music that moves you as a Christian, it is the worship you put behind it. It wasn’t the spiritual pep-talks, anyone can listen and be convicted. It was God. I walked in those doors knowing something was wrong, ignoring the fact that I wasn’t where I needed to be in my walk with Christ.  This isn’t to say that I don’t pray, consult Jesus in every decision, or try to live faithfully to him daily. But it does mean that I knew in my heart that I had been putting things before God. I have been struggling silently with the idols of my life and I have let myself worship thoughts, desires, fears, and insecurities. ANYTHING you think about, want, love, and give your time to more than God is an IDOL. And I was quickly learning that I had quite a few.

When you realize that you are not where you should be, that you are confined to the world and it’s sin, and that God is BEGGING you to come back to him, you can do one of two things. You can choose to be the same person; put on the Christian smile and continue to talk about the marvelous God and His eternal love that you aren’t even acknowledging daily. OR you can change. Anyone who has grown up in church and read the bible can pretend to know what Holy is and recite the stories we have all heard. But it takes true brokenness to feel the longing God has for His children. It takes ultimate submission to decide that you want to run to Jesus instead of the things that keep you from him.

Romans 6:18 says “Being then made free from sin, you became the servants of righteousness.”
and Romans 6:22 tells us “But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life.”

Whether I had realized it or not, I had become a slave to my own sin. I was serving the world and had chained myself to the cuffs of all the things my God could set me free from. For the first time I can honestly say I experienced God breaking my heart for all the things that had been breaking His.

After the conference I wrote this:

I don’t want to be bound to anyone or anything but you, Lord. I don’t want to be chained to the world, to selfishness, to a need, want, man, or idol. I don’t want to be chained to the person I pretend to be, but rather to the woman you created me to become. I don’t want to be chained to my guilt, shame, doubts, or my self-worth issues. I don’t want to be chained to a loss of innocence, or desperation to get it back. I don’t want to be chained to my strife, to the battles I have had to fight, my pain, or the resentment in my heart. I don’t want to be chained to my mistakes or the mistakes others have committed against me. Amen.

And with that, God broke my chains. I now know that a servant is someone who is bound by obligation and against their will. A bondservant is someone who was once a slave, but was set free and chose to stay because of their love and dedication to their master.

I might have been a slave to sin, but now I am a bondservant to Jesus Christ. I am not with Him against my will, but because I am hungry for His word, for His approval, and for the love that ONLY He can fill all my voids with. I am no longer a slave to sin or a religion, but a bondservant to God’s love.

“He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom and broke away their chains.”
Psalm 107:14

-Madalyn Payge <3

Dating Jesus

By definition, Lent is the time of preparation for Holy Week, leading up to Easter. It is practiced mostly by Catholics, but I’ll admit that I just love the idea of it. For forty days, those that practice Lent fast from something. I have decided that I’ll participate in the Lent tradition this year. Instead of giving up something I had planned on going without anyways (like soda or television) I am going to give up something that I think takes up a lot of my time and replace the time I would have spent on that one thing with praying and spending “quiet time” with God.  My goal is to use this season of Lent as a time of for me to grow nearer to God. We never need an excuse to better our spiritual relationships, but I’m excited to give up something to have time with God, since Jesus gave up His life to have eternity with us.

Let me preface this next paragraph by saying that I am totally aware of how ridiculous I am. And yes, I know I’m only eighteen and have a whole life ahead of me and shouldn’t wish my days away. But I can’t really change how my thought processes are and who I am at my core. Those that really know me will think my Lent sacrifice is exactly what I need and will probably get a good kick out of it too :)

For Lent, I’m giving up the thought of marriage. This isn’t to say I plan to never get married or that I am abandoning all hope to get married, but if I’m honest with myself about what takes up a lot of my time, it’s some form of the thought of marriage. When I meet a guy, I immediately identify them as “marriage material” or not. I can’t help it! It’s not that I want to get married RIGHT NOW, but I am definitely ready to meet someone. And because I don’t date without a purpose, or date someone who doesn’t have the characteristics I would want in a husband, marriage just tends to always be on my mind.

One day my friend asked me “Why do you insist on wearing makeup and fixing your hair before always going out?” I tried to make it a joke by saying, “Because every day is a potential day to meet my husband for the first time.” The more I thought about my “joking” response, the more I realized how serious I was. 

If I replace the time I spend fantasizing over something I can’t magically make appear- like a boyfriend or future husband- with time with God, I have no doubt that I’d make so much spiritual progress. The bible says that God is supposed to be our portion for everything we need, that we’re supposed to turn to HIM. God gives us what we need when we need it, I really do believe that. So if I started practicing it, I know that my faith in God and His faithfulness to me will feel more secure.  Therefore, every time a boyfriend-marriage-family related thought pops in my head, I will immediately pray and spend time in God’s Word instead. I know that as a young girl, the priority shouldn’t be finding a husband, but rather preparing myself to be the Godly woman and wife I’ve been called to be for a husband.

For Lent, I’m going to allow God to be the keeper of my heart that I know He already is. By making GOD that love of my life, my life will be more ready to receive love.  I won’t have the need to give my love away if I’m giving it to the One who deserves is more than any man.

-Madalyn Payge <3

“The LORD is my portion; I have promised to keep Your words” –Psalm 119:54

Links and Information

For those of you who have been asking, here are the links that you can find more about the organizations I will be affiliated with:

http://www.rcenterprises.org/ :
This is where I will be working this summer! On the home page of this site, you can read all about RCE and what their vision is. You can also click the link "Darius House" and find out more about the children I'll be working with and how to donate towards helping these abandoned children who have special needs.

http://globaloutreach.org/ :
This site will lead you to information about my missionary sending agency. Here, you can learn about all the different countries and people groups Global Outreach serves and also about their missionary families and how you can contribute to their missionary opportunities.