Friday, January 18, 2013

Molly and Marijuana

At 9pm tonight I took Molly out for her nighttime tinkle. I was FREEZING and EVERY TIME she was almost ready to go potty, she would be distracted by the neighborhood kids running through the street (because six year olds apparently do not need bedtimes). In the midst of her six-billionth attempt at pottying, a gaggle of teenage boys cross through my lawn, since my lawn is designated as the best short-cut path to storage shed row #4 (there are four rows, I am #3). Molly is a people person. Molly RUNS towards the boys and immediately makes friends with them. They stop and wait for me to come and (ironically) fetch her.

Within two seconds of being in their perimeter, I can tell why Molly is sniffing them like they're the last sent on earth... the guys were stoned. And reeking of it. They, of course, thought Molly was the funniest dog ever and asked if they could keep her. I personally think Molly is too young to be smoking pot at 9pm on a Friday night, so I politely declined and took Molly back to our patch of grass.

Let me explain that we have the biggest "back yard" out of all the other storage sheds. This is because our particular house is on the edge of the woods, which is lined by a knee-high wooden fence to keep the kids (who don't have good enough parents to keep them out of the woods) from falling three feet down.

It's do or die. Poop or freeze to death. I am praying for no more distractions so the Diva can do her business and we can return to our heated comfort. Just as she is about to... she hears a noise.

There is a mass of black hair CRAWLING over the fence. I scream like a little girl, Molly hides between my legs. To give you a mental image of how my mind is processing this, I mentally see this...

When in reality, it is one of the little Mexican girls from across the street cutting across the woods from playing all afternoon at storage shed row #1..
That's right, I am just in a bad Dora the Explorer episode.

Little Dora finishes crawling over, laughs at me, pats Molly on the head and SKIPS across the street to her house.

I am officially scarred for life. The only good news is that creepy Dora scared the pee right out of Molly...

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