Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Rants of a Renter

Let me prologue the following thoughts with this:
I LOVE my new house. I love my roommates. I love my little laundry room with a functioning washer and dryer. I love my very own personal bathroom. I LOVE living two seconds away from civilization and not 20 minutes and a dirt road away from a gas station. I love it. However...

Dear fellow storage-shed renters,

I know our house is closest to the large Waste Management dumpster, but in case you weren't taught what a boundary line looks like, the dumpster designated space is outlined in CEMENT! Which means the grass on the other side of it, is MY BACK YARD. When it is 5am, dark outside, and I'm having to take Diva Dog Molly out for her morning tinkle, the last thing I want to find is YOUR trash on MY GRASS. I actually don't care about all the snack foods and alcoholic beverages you consume, therefore I do not need to see the wrappers of such items scattered across every blade of Unit 114 backyard grass. Also, I do not think it's cute when I send my dog to fetch her hot pink ball and she brings back a used diaper from your wailing offspring that should have been potty trained a year ago.

Do you know what time it is? I don't think so, because at 9pm, your half-clothed 5 year old should not be out riding his bike in the dark, or cursing loudly at the other toddlers in the neighborhood. His best friend should also not be the old man who sits across the street, shirtless and drinking his hourly beer. Why do you let him talk to said old man? Certainly that can't be safe.

And lastly... We were all handed the same tenant agreement. I am sure our landlord did not hate us extra special and write down rules specifically for us. So I am sure you received the same notice that we are not supposed to be parking in the street. If three young, driving-challenged girls can manage to fit their cars on their carport, so can you. I'm sure you don't wake up until 11am, but I leave my house at 6:45am and I would like to leave our little storage shed complex without having to zig-zag through your company's additional vehicles. Every. Single. Morning.

And DON'T get me started on the maintenance man...

*sigh* that is all.

Love,
Diva Dog Owner, Unit 114

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